Monday, March 31, 2008

NCAA = Teh Wainches

Like clockwork, the *(&^%!@# NCAA steps in to ruin all things normal and fun. The hammer that is Myles Brand has said that the football teams that will be part of the "Gridirion Bash" concert series would violate some sort of NCAA policy.

What policy you ask?

Who the foxtrot knows?

Wait, wait...

Here it is:

“We never expressed any concern with the actual event being conducted as scheduled,” the NCAA said in a written statement, “but only with the participation of student-athletes as part of the for-profit event.”

According to the NCAA, MSL wanted to use the appearance of football players as part of the event, and did not want to require athletes to pay admission. Both would have violated NCAA rules

Holy crap? Y'all have a problem with the schools making money off of students popularity? The same organization that allows for tickets to sell for thousands of dollars and doesn't mind taking a chunk of that every single week of the season has a problem with football players seeing a concert for free? Completely understandable.

Crap, I have a problem with third and fourth string punters getting into the games for free. Most of them will never have to do anything on a gameday and they get a seat 10 times better than the one I paid for.

Texas Might Could Possibly be in Trouble

The Longhorns are looking at a problem they haven't faced in a long while. Finding a decent running back.

Tailback play has been a position that the Horns have had a stranglehold on since the 90's. From a school that's produced Ricky Williams, Cedric Benson, and Preist Holmes... you gotta be curious.

Even in a year where there were no dominant RB's(2005,) the Horns established enough of a run game through Young, Charles, Taylor, and Melton to take pressure off of Vince Young.

Charles has shouldered the load the last two years, making a name for himself in comeback situations, racking up the yards late in the game.

His jump to the NFL leaves Texas without much experience or depth at the position. Ogbonnaya and McGee both had some good moments last year, but neither has separated themselves as the leader from the pair or RS Freshman Foswhitt Whittaker. In unrelated news drug traffic has gone down in Austin by 50%.

Friday, March 28, 2008

ACC Schedule Sexiness

CFN has started doing Conference composite schedules.

The ACC one can be found here.

Three-N-Out's picks for best games each week however, are below:

Week 1
NC State at South Carolina: Time to see if Tom O'Brien's move was lateral
Wake Forest at Baylor: Battle of the Baptists. Except one of them is actually good for a change. Briles could rock this though to make the most awesome headline this year "Briles, Baylor beat WF in Battle of the Baptists" Good Alliteration is hard to find.
USC at Virginia: It was good to see Al Groh have a decent season last year. Keep it close here and you can at least see if it might not have been a fluke
Alabama vs. Clemson (Atlanta): Should be a very telling game for each team

Week 2
Georgia Tech at Boston College: Starting conference early is your BoCo Eagles and GaTech Jackets. Triple option in your face!!!

That's sadly it. Week two in the ACC is a sad sad thing.

Week 3
North Carolina at Rutgers: Rutgers should still be a decent team this year. We can see here if the Butch Davis rebuilding project is working. Or if that contract extension after a losing season was worth it.
Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech: This will be our chance against real competition to see Virginia Tech against some real competition (if you don't count East Carolina)
Cal at Maryland: Nothing to exciting here. Maryland shouldn't be all that bad and Cal probably won't be all that great this year. Maryland has flirted with being above average recently and I'd like them to have a good season this year. Beating a visiting Cal team wouldn't be a bad start.

Week 4
Miami at Texas A&M: This game last year was supposed to be A&M's coming out party and announcing they were for real. Instead they got drummed like a.... I dunno. They just got their butts handed to them. HaHa speed option right! 3x in a row! They'll never see this one coming! Thank God for the Aggies that crap is over. Anyways. Expect a lot of improvement in Shannon's second year. This will be Sherman's first in Aggieland so I think both teams will learn a lot before conference play gets hot and heavy
Miss State at GaTech: An good OOC game for the Jackets.
UCF at BoCo: UCF is one of those teams you really don't want to play these days. They're well coached and seem to have talent year in and year out..

Week 5
Virginia Tech at Nebraska: With Pelini at the helm, this should be a heck of a defensive game as neither offenses have a lot of star power right now. I expect a 0-0 tie going into the 10th overtime. The ref walks out and says OK the offense with the most positive yardage after 4 plays wins.
Colorado vs. Florida State: This game has been fairly competitive the last few years. Colorado had an improved season last year while the Seminoles just didn't ever seem to get over the hump (other than beating Boston College last year)

Week 6
FSU at Miami: Should be telling for both teams. Miami will know if they're back... and FSU can find out if they're still relevant.

Week 7

Clemson at Wake Forrest: Just because I have to put something for this week. Clemson needs to start making some noise here if they want to be serious contenders this year.

Week 8

VaTech at BoCo: Could be for the championship #1

Week 9

Duke at Vanderbuilt: Bayfordukeandywestern strikes again. But it plays itself this time.
Virginia Tech at FSU: Usually a good game

Week 10
Clemson at Boston College: Could be for the championship #2

Week 11
Clemson at Florida State: Gotta love the Bowden Bowl.
Notre Dame at BoCo: Catholics Clash!!! Not as cool as Battle of the Baptist though. I don't think the Irish are back in fighting form yet, but should be a good game.

Week 12
Virginia Tech at Miami: Again should be a game of defense. These slugfests are usually not fun if you like exciting football, but if you like defensive games... here you go.

Week 13
BoCo at Wake Forrest: If Wake stays as competitive as they have in recent years this could be a good match up.

Week 14
South Carolina at Clemson: Good in-state rivalry game in which Clemson has dominated lately.
Florida at Florida State: No matter how good the better team is in this game, it's been a close and and enjoyable game.
Virginia at Virginia Tech:
Should be a good game if Groh keeps the Wahoos rolling

Week 15 - Championship

My gut prediction here: Clemson vs. Va Tech

Lou, Charlie: Beano Got Your Back

Watch the second video here.

+100 if you actually decipher any thing from that message other than that Charlie needs to be a nice guy.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

An excerpt from the Bowden Houlthz Q&A

Yesterday we reported that Bobby Bowden and Lou Holtz would be handling a Q&A at the FSU coaches clinic. We got ahold of an excerpt

Amato: Thanks for coming folks. We're taking questions from the audience with legendary coaches Bobby Bowden and Lou Holtz. I'm your moderater Chuck Amato.

Holtz: It's good to be here guys.

Bowden: We're really looking forward to your questions today, folks.

Amato: First Question, What has been the effect of the spread offense in today's game?

Bowden: ....

Holtz: ....

Bowden: Chuck, you're going to have to point at one of us because we can't see who you're looking at with those sunglasses on.

(Amato raises an eyebrow and points to Holtz)

Holtz: Well we never faced to much of that pesky thread in my day. Let me tell you about this one time at Notre Dame when we fac...

Bowden: Dadgumit Lou they didn't have the spread back then. Folks, the spread is a pretty tough little offense to defend nowadays. One of the main things you have to have is speed. With offenses taking up the space of the field that they do now you really need to have ends, linebackers, and a secondary that can cover lots of territory, and I mean cover it quickly. You gotta stop thinking positional and see your defense as player X who covers this man or area and adapt. You also have to start playing smart with hiding your safety play and where he lines up. That can make a huge change on how the spread is ran. Taking the clock away is also important with a spread offense. The best defense is a good offense in that situation... heh heh... you know what I mean.

Amato: Thanks coach. Next question. Coaches how do you feel that instant replay has changed the game so far?

Bowden: Well you really feel that when you instigate something like that some of these horribly bad calls are going to be put to rest. Then you get to a situation like Oklahoma had a few years back where replay had the perfect chance to save a bad call and they miss it. Other calls like that have been pretty bad. Those dadblasted Gators even got screwed a year or two back with a fumble call that should have been an incompletion. The point being that as long as it's run by humans it's still going to have faults.

Holtz: Let me tell you pardner, if we had had instant replay when I was Notre Dame we could have had 2 more championships.


Amato: ... Is that all Lou?

Holtz: Yep.

Amato: ... Another question then. Who's your pick for the National Champion this year, coaches?

Bowden: Clemson or Florida State..... haha just kidding guys. As always we expect this year to be competitive and it's always anybody's game. USC, OSU, and Oklahoma are always in the title mix and should be again this year. Everybody's favorite this year seems to Georgia. Mark's done a fine job, i say a fine job, up in Athens and he deserves every bit of credit he can get. He's my pick... behind the Seminoles of course.... (jokingly elbows Lou)

Holtz: Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Amato: Lou, look I know you have a lot of loyalty to them an...

Holtz: THE Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Amato: Lou, really, they're coming off a 3-9 season with a pretty inexperienced offensive line. I know there one of the greatest teams of history... but man they to lost Nav.....

Holtz: NBC's instant replay crew screwed us on that one.

Bowden: Us?

Holtz: I mean the Irish. Horribly

Amato: Moving on.... Chuck how did your chest get so bi...... Never mind. Next one up. Coaches, each of you have faced some strong controversies in your time as coaches. Coach Holtz you had the situation with the brawl at your final game on the sidelines. Coach Bowden you had to bench 30 players in your bowl game due to a cheating scandal. How do you deal with those.

Lou: We never had any trouble when I was at Notre Da....


Chuck: Ummm can we get some water in here? One more question here... lets' see. Chuck, how do you have top defenses and top draft picks every year and NC State and still manage to fail miser....

Well that's all for today folks. Don't forget to pick up your packets in the back.

Predicting the BCS Bowls.... in March.

CFN isn't my favorite site in the world but the keep us up to date on CFB year round and churn out something to whet our appetite during the harsh months of May, June, and July where there is nothing to be hopeful for.

They've been running a fairly decent preview here.

On the same page is their early picks for the BCS Bowls.

I don't agree w/ all of them but it's worth a look:

Rose Bowl

Them: Wisconsin vs. USC

vs. USC

I really think that voters will actively choose not to have somebody in a MNC game again this year, like with Michigan (or even where they willed LSU into the championship.) I really think the media will shoot down OSU at every
chance they get this year.

Even though these teams will be playing each other early in the season, I don't think either team will reach the MNC this year. I think OSU is going to drop one or two to USC, Wisconsin, Michigan, MSU, PSU, or Illinois (likelihood in appropriate order.) Whereas I only think USC will drop maybe one game out of OSU, Oregon, Cal, Virginia, Oregon State, Washington, or UCLA. I think both teams won't end up in MNC game this year. But if I had to have a backup plan to who I think it'll be in that game... You're looking at it here.

Second Guess: Wisconsin vs. Oregon

Orange Bowl

Them: Boston College vs. Pitt

Me: Clemson vs. WVU/USF

Fiu gives this pick the benefit of the doubt of WVU and USF being interchangeable here for Pitt. I'm not sold on Pitt being as good as the nation is gearing up for them to be, but I could be wrong. It's happened once. I'm not really sold on anybody in the Big East as the dominant team. I could see it going the way of a three-way tie with two losses each.

While I think BC will continue to rise to be a stronger power in the ACC, I think this has to be Clemson's year. Virginia Tech could contend here as well, but it just seems like Clemson has so much going for it right now in some strong recruiting classes as well as having some talent this year. The ACC needs somebody to step up have a dominant season. Now

Second Guess: Va Tech vs. Louisville/UConn

Fiesta Bowl

Them: Mizzou vs. BYU
Me: Texas Tech vs. Mid-major

Pick your flavor of the week for the mid-major. Some say BYU, some Fresno State, and some that Boise will be right back. The mid-majors are becoming a mainstay in the BCS picture and rightfully so (we've wiped out last years Sugar Bowl debacle from our minds entirely) TCU is always an early favorite to show up in this group as well.

Tech is returning everybody but one receiver. And because it's Tech... that doesn't matter much. The defense has improved slowly throughout the years and if Leach is going to have a year to show up this is it. By the way Crabtree is going to rock it regardless of BCS bowl or not. The rumors swirling are that he would have been a top 10 pick this year if he were elligible or not.

Second Guess: Mizzou/Oklahoma vs. Mid Major

Sugar Bowl

Them: Georgia vs. Oklahoma
Me: Florida vs. Wisconsin
Fiu had a good call pitting these teams against each other here... it's just the wrong game for them.
I think Oklahoma will be good enough to get here, but they can do more.

I think a strong Wisky doesn't drop more than 2 games this year and earns one of the at-large bids to pull this out.

If bowls are able, they try to stick to their appropriate teams, and baring total disaster, two SEC teams will be eligible for this one. It's just that the other one I have picked will be in the MNC as well. Florida should bring a very balanced offense with Tebow, Harvin, and (finally) a group of capable RBs. The secondary has cost them in the past

Second Guess: Georgia vs Mizzou

Them: Florida vs. Ohio State
Me: Georgia vs. Oklahoma

I think both of these teams arrive with one loss. No idea who. But 2 losses between them. Oklahoma has one loss that they shouldn't in October or November and Georgia just has to go down to somebody... anybody really. The teams have never met so this would make for an interesting one.

Second guess: OSU vs. USC

Legit Teams that have a shot at BCS Bids:

Pac 10

Va Tech
Boston College

Big Ten



Texas Tech

Big East
West Virginia


Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Players We're Friggin' Excited About

Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree

Obviously these two aren't one player like we normally do. But they are you see. Because of Graham Harrell's 5700 yards of passing, almost 2000 of that was from the bad mofo Michael Crabtree. For Crabtree to have 2000 yards of receiving, Harrell has to throw 2000 yards too him plus the slew of other able-handed receivers that the Pirate Mike Leach fields.

The make or break deal for these two will actually be sitting on the bench while Harrell and Crabtree are putting on the fireworks show. They both need a good defense to come in and finally stop the Texas, Oklahoma, Mizzous, and Oklahoma States of the Big XII from being able to score as much as they do. Ruffin McNeil improved the D last season, but they need even more strides as a team if they are going to finally challenge for the South.

Crabtree embodies the term "jailhouse break"

Stuff College FootBloggers Like

In honor of the Stuff white people like and the other stuff people are liking in their respective colors...

I present stuff college football bloggers like

Profanity: Profanity is what separates bloggers from the Professionals. Why you ask? Because we can say whatever the &%#$ is on our minds.

For instance....

Team A is down at the half and Erin Andrews says "this team came out the locker room calm and seems like they've settled down and are ready to play." Whereas I can say "Team A pulled their head out of their @*# and decided to play." Which do you think is more accurate?

Perfect Example:

That's quality right there folks. Would it been nearly as funny if he had said "Boom! Head shot sucker?"

Not at all. Sportscenter won't show you that. But we will. Repetitively.

Girl Scout Thin Mints: The early months of the year when those pesky little uniformed girls bug us at every major retail store does have one perk: the crack cocaine known as thin mints. You think a sleeve will last you a good few days... Hah!!! Try a few seconds, serf. The Girl Scouts of America have been owning us since before Al Gore invented this thing.

Cliches: Some things just don't ever get old. i.e. the Auburn chop block.

I don't think I'll ever not think an Auburn Chop Block joke is funny

Or the A&M nut squeeze

You see as a result of this... all aggies grab their junk. It's a proven fact.

or here

All Red Raiders.... well you know... with a bell.

Cliches are only old when they're against your team. And that's probably because they're true.

Erin Andrews: Because bloggers the only people who actually appreciate her for her sideline reporting.*

Cheap Bad Beer: Whether it's Orson and Kanu throwing down the Icehouse, or references to Old English, bloggers know all about cheap beer. We like to remember back to the times where we couldn't afford real beer (you know, like keystone) and went for quantity instead of quality. Of course we'd justify it by saying we really like it despite the fact we threw up the first swig of every bottle or can. Cheap alcohol was our friend through the toughest losses in college and was always there for us when that wainch dumped us.

Lou Houlthz: Lou is a constant in our life. When the week has been long and we need some relief, Lou is there. Not only does he remind us of our childhood cartoon favorite, Sylvester the Cat he comes into our living rooms every Thursday with his Locker Room Talk bringing a message of hope that puts Obama to shame.

How can that not just sent shivers down your spine? Let me tell you something. After one of those talks I feel like I could knock Kimbo Slice out in under 30 seconds. Or at least live after the encounter. One or the other. Regardless, bloggers love Lou almost as much as we love...

Lee Corso:
Whether it's checking out Lee's current skin color, or guessing if today is Merkin day, Lee's a constant mainstay of blogging materials. I don't think we could blog about anything if that goofy schmuck didn't stick something on his head ever single Saturday. Heck I wouldn't even wake up before noon if it wasn't for Corso or the fact that I live in the CST and games start at 11 here. Stinking Daywalkers.

Jorts: They're just comfortable. We don't need all the pocket space of cargos. Just leave us alone.

Photoshop and MS Paint: Photoshop does what movies could never do to books. For instance what if I said " Hey, it would be hilarious if I drew a picture of a Spartan kicking Charlie Weis into a pit like in 300, " after MSU beat ND? You'd say "man that would be funny."

But it's nowhere near as funny as actually seeing it.

Or "Dude, Phil Fulmer and Mark Mangino should wrestle. That would be awesome."


Infinitely funnier than me describing it. Thank God for people like LSUFreek that make said things come true.

*That's a lie.

PSU continues to have its head up its...

Assumption that they can actually force JoePa to do anything. (See what I did there?)

Here's another article talking about why and when PSU wants Joe to put up the clip board.

I still find it humorous that a team with 29 wins in 3 seasons is looking to out their coach.

If my coach literally dead and still giving me 9 wins a season, Give the SOB a raise. He's doing as good as or better than 80%* of coaches in the country.

Seriously ask people @ A&M, Arkansas, Washington, and the like. They would hire Osama if he put up 9 wins a season for three years w/ a conference title thrown in there.**

*That statistic is totally made up. But it sounded really good.
** That's probably not true either, but go with it

Excuse Me. I'll be in Tallahassee.

Coach Bobby Bowden and Lou Houlthz will be putting doing a Q&A at FSU's annual coaches' clinic. The awesomeness that is Bobby Bowden combined by the senility of Lou could only be improved by one thing.

Being moderated by JoePa.

Sadly that won't happen.

The next best thing will though. Coach Chuck "the Chest" Amato will be the moderater. While the article doesn't explicitly say it... Chuck will in fact be wearing sunglasses.

I just peed a little out of joy.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

It's an Awesome Time to Play College Football

Today's headlines from all over:
Clemson's Davis to miss rest of spring with injury
Troubled SC QB charged with underage drinking
Florida's Harvin may miss rest of spring practices
Virginia Tech's leading rusher removed from team
Hyped S.C. QB Garcia has 3rd run-in with cops
Georgia's Wilson undrgoes surgery on left ankle
Former top wideout recruit Rouse leaves UTEP
Two Buffs awaiting separate charges for assault
Gamecocks WR asks for trial to fight pot charge

Could it be any more offseason for you?

Breaking News: The Option is Old!!

Paul Johnson described the YellowJackets' first workout as "ragged" (from

After having your offense run by the multitalented Reggie Ball for 7 years there's no way they can't look sharp.

Having an offense based entirely upon Calvin Johnson for 3 years then followed by having the one offensive weapon of Tashard Choice in 2007 couldn't have made this offense "ragged"

Ridiculous, Paul Johnson. Ridiculous.

Take your fancy option and go kiss a pig.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Spring Practice. Serious Business. Part I

Spring Questions?

1. Who's the new supermodel? And by that I mean who's the starting QB at USC going to be? Mitch Mustain or Mark Sanchez. Please God, let it be Sanchez. I will only refer to him as the "Dirty Sanchez" the entire football season even if he never gets slightly, moderately soiled.

2. What the heck is Paul Johnson going to do at Georgia Tech? We pray for the triple option.

3. Will Stephen McGee be able to win back his starting job at QB at A&M? Playmaker Jerrod Johnson will get a chance to shine in spring practice while McGee recovers from shoulder surgery. The surgery has nothing to do with Fran running the option numerous times.

4. Was 2007 just a fluke for ND or were 2005-2006 the flukes for Charlie Weis? Rebuilding an offensive line is a must

5. Can somebody in the Big XII and Pac 10 step it up this spring? Just a little bit? USC, Oklahoma, and Texas have had a deathgrip on the top of these conferences for 5+ years and it's getting really old.

6. What is Bama going to do with all those recruits?

7. Can somebody sack up and dominate the ACC? Spring ball doesn't tell you every thing... but somebody somewhere needs to start putting it together now. There hasn't been a dominant team since .... well.... Miami and Va. Tech were in the Big East and I can't even count that.


8. How will the spread fare in Ann Arbor? Does RichRod have a QB?

9. Is Pitt really ranked??? Who votes in this stuff???

JoePa is now officially a case study. reports that PSU has started enrolling for a course that studies JoePa's relation with the media.

Can you say awesomeness incarnate? As a comm major, I'd be in that class before you could say "enroll me."

"There's a reason that Joe, more than any other college coach, does what he does," said Poorman, who has written about Paterno and the team since 1979. "Whether talking to the media, delivering a corporate address or interacting with his staff ... it's meticulous. There's a reason why he does everything."

Poorman said he hasn't talked to Paterno directly about the class, though he received word through the coach's family that he is OK with the endeavor.

Paterno's son and quarterbacks coach, Jay Paterno, said Thursday night his father's initial reaction was "What would they want to possibly do a course about me for?"

Another focus of the class is the evolution of sports journalism into a fast-paced, Internet-driven media marketplace.

A weekly in-season news conference once meant Paterno talked with six reporters around a table, no microphone or TV camera in sight. Paterno knew every reporter's name on the beat, Poorman said.

Today, remarks can spread quickly through blogs and Web chat rooms, not to mention the live broadcasts over the radio. Now Paterno sits at a table overlooking a Beaver Stadium media room with more than a dozen reporters, with at least another dozen asking questions via teleconference.

"There are very few people in the same job, the same role, the same company" for the length of time that Paterno has been at Penn State, Jay Paterno said about his father. "He's the perfect person to study the changing media."

Personally I love how JoePa handles the media. Between him being a coy smart@#$ to them and the fact that you always need to fear for your life when in an interview with him, that class would have probably been retaken each semester just to keep me sane.


We're back. Not a ton happened in college football this last weekend...

except that 12 star, future Heisman winner Terrell Pryor decided to go to Ohio State, Michigan pooped itself, and JoePa said something about youngins.

Spring ball is underway and all is well in the world.

March madness be crazy. All 1 seeds still exist, but G-Town and Duke have fallen.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Spring Break

and we are out like the fat kid in dodgeball...
dyslexic during scrabble
blind kid in Pictionary
Dennis Franchione on defense

wocka wocka... Fran jokes never get old.

Some awesomeness from this weekend:

Friday, March 14, 2008

Friday's Friggin' Awesome Film

This should never happen. If I'm a coach I'm telling my team to all just tackle the closest one to them and hold them down. 11 players of me tackling 11 players of them = no score. Probably wouldn't work. But it's better than running around like a chicken w/ my head cut off.

Regardless, I don't care if there were a million laterals and it took 10 minutes... it's still not as cool as this

Ya think?

Miles gets his money.

Well deserved sir. Well deserved. If nothing else but for throwing the ball w/ 1 second left vs. Auburn and it actually working.

3.75 mil wouldn't be bad. That's like at least 8 million corn dogs. 5 mil if you get mustard.

The Beast Has Risen!!!!! OH NOES!!!!


Yesterday I posted on the boringness of CFB's offseason...

only to have the beast resurrected last night as I watched way too much Conference tournament hoops.

My hope in mankind and all things good and sacred have been restored, my friends. The excitement of actual competition and teams getting knocked out of the tournament by a loss instead of the boring conference schedule where it ends in "Oh my, Duke and UNC are top of the ACC?? Whoah!!!" Or Memphis won the CUSA? Holy Crap!!" "UCLA is at the top of the Pac-10? Never!"

It's the part of the season where you just need "one more win" to have a shot.

It's where the team that won the NC the year before can somehow miss out on even making the Tournament... sorry Orson.

It's when your team can finally get it together for a few days and show the critics one last time you deserve the shot at the big time.

Some interesting points thus far:

-Florida probably ain't in.
-The Big East has turned up pretty interesting
-Pitt & WVU have come on strong late and a rematch of the Backyard Brawl is looking possible
-The Big XII was looking to send 6 teams dancing. Kansas, KSU, and Texas are locks at this point, the question lies in Baylor, Oklahoma, and Texas A&M. Baylor lost in double overtime against a bad Colorado team and A&M distanced themselves by solidly beating a bad ISU team. Oklahoma has a good chance to take out Colorado and solidify their lock. If A&M beats KSU, they're in. Baylor may be on the outside looking in now.
- A big win by OSU today against MSU will lock OSU for the tournament.
- Sexy cinderlla stories are Drake, Butler, and Winthrop.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Players We're Friggin' Excited About

Javon Ringer

Ringer made up the lightning of MSU's Thunder and Lightning (we're got to come up with another name for guys like this, White & Bush @ USC, Goodson & Lane @ A&M, Davis & Spiller @ Clemson) Like Biggie and the Quicky.... or lard bucket and greased lightning... Gosh... just something less cliche!!! I think I've used that word three times today regarding college football season... (cuddles in the corner repeating.. "150ish days... only 150ish days left") i digress. greatly.

Ringer had 1400+ yards but his TD stats fell victim to TD vulture Mike Als...
err... Jehuu Caulcrick. Hopefully he'll get the glory this year as he'll be the star back.

More Sexy

From the Sporting News:

Bruce Pearl sexiness... the best kind

Preseason Sexiness.

Nostradamus does not look kindly on failures

Despite the fact that spring practices are underway ... it's an incredibly slow month for college football.

Outside of FulmerCup activities all we really have going on is scheduling comments and random weird activities by coaches. Like this. Or Stadium changes.

Real news makers there.

We're offering our first sexy picks of the year instead of random driveby fill-in-the-blank news. This isn't just our picks for rankings but just picks on things that will happen this year.

1. Nobody in the SEC will go undefeated.

- I took the easy one first. It just ain't happening. In a league where you honest to God have to worry about Vanderbilt as much as you do about LSU or Florida it just can't happen. I'm not trying to jump on the "SEC is greatest single combination of teams ever and all deserve top 10 rankings" bandwagon. Over the last three years the SEC has won me over by a solid out-of-conference win/loss record as well as their presence in Bowl games. Their perennial bottom-dwellers could probably beat most other bottom-dwelling teams as well.


2. Ohio State will probably end up towards the top of the pack again.

- Even after laying eggs on a national stage two years in a row, you can't keep OSU off your charts. They're just too good, too consistently to do it. Sweater-vest keeps good teams year in and year out and this year will be no different. Expect the Buckeyes to continue to struggle with the spread offense unless something changes dramatically. OSU has sent it's secondary coach to talk to USF defensive coordinator Wally Burnham about containing Rich Rodriguez's spread offense. The Big 10 isn't as bad as people want you to think and OSU is better than the last two MNCs imply.

3. Mike Leach's make or break year is here

- This will finally be the year that we find out if Mike Leach can be more than a coach that just passes a lot and knocks off the occasional conference rival or if they are a real title contender. The Pirates of the Plains have showed they can light up even the best defenses scoreboard when they have to, but Ruffin McNeil has to stop other teams from doing it to Tech. Texas Tech returns virtually every starter from last year. Notably, Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree will return to pick up right where they left off. If there was ever a year where Tech can rise out of the middle of the pack and grab the Big XII South title, this is the year.

4. One of these guys won't be here at years end

Kirk Ferentz
Tyrone Willingham
Greg Robinson
Mike Stoops
Ralph Friedgren

Sexier bolder Prediction: One of these two ain't back in '09.

Big Daddy Bowden

Personally I pray to the football gods that the following scenario works out. I would forfeit all football watching for the next year if somehow it happened. OK, not really. But it would rule all things sacred to football.

Please God, let Bobby Bowden and JoePa pull into a tie for most wins at the end of the season and somehow have them play in a bowl game again. If you are truly gracious and merciful... let it be for the MNC.

4. Instant replay will epically screw somebody down the road. Again.

- Just consider it a promise. I give it 5 games maximum before we have some coach tearing the officiating crew a new one over a huge miss. No matter how much more sophisticated the technology gets... it's still a judgment call half the time and your opinion of that judgment is strongly based upon the color of your shirt that day.

5. Tebow won't repeat for the Heisman this year

- Florida's addition of RB Emanuel Moody (transfer from USC) will take away the need for Tebow to take a a beating in the running game this year. Tebow's a solid passer, but the reason why we loved him last year was his headfirst runs into linebackers and secondaries last year. Moody will take away the need for him to put his body on the line, thus taking away his gaudy statistics. He'll still be a force in the SEC (first team All-SEC surely), but take away his running last year and he's probably looking at D-Mac on stage from a chair last year. Don't worry, he's still a stud with whom we have a man crush on.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

2007 Season Review (The Upsets)

The Upsets

The first Saturday of the season is always the toughest day of the season for me. Hunting season and Opening Saturday always seem to pull me in two directions.

This year one score in particular kept me at home that Saturday afternoon. For some reason I kept seeing ASU (who?) on top of #5 Michigan.

Thanks, to the wonderful marketing machine that is the Big Ten Network, only a certain few people were getting to watch the seemingly greatest upset of all time as it happened.

I continued watching some game I had no concern about (that's a lie, I have concern about all of them) just to watch the ticker hoping and praying that this Appalachian State, whoever they were would pull off the upset. It didn't seem possible. A should-be dominant Michigan seemed to awaken from its sleepwalking first half and pull back within striking range. They finally did pull ahead.

Predictably, of course.

Then Armanti Edwards somehow drove the Mountaineers back down for a field goal to go up 34-32.

It was too quick. Surely they wouldn't hold on. This doesn't happen.

It's never happened.

No 1-AA has ever beaten a ranked team, nonetheless against a top 5 team. It wouldn't happen, especially against Michigan, the winningest team in College Football.

Then it happened.

A block. Appy state did it. The 1-AA from the hills in North Carolina rolled into the Big House and knocked off the #5 team in the nation. Greatest upset of all time? Maybe. Maybe not. Only time will tell.

What we do know is that it began the craziest season of upsets in recent memory.

Over 20 teams cycled through the top 10 including Rutgers, Boston College, South Florida, Arizona State, South Carolina, and Illinois.

Oh, yeah, Kentucky and Kansas made it up there. No, I didn't switch to talking about basketball there (see what I did there?).

Not exactly the murder's row of teams. Each of the above teams pulled off some upsets that shocked the country at the time.


Kentucky and Arkansas pulling off OT wins over LSU.
Kansas beating VT in the Orange Bowl
South Florida taking out WVU early in the season.
Illinois knocking off top ranked OSU

It was even argued that the two greatest upsets of all time came in the same season. The first being the aforementioned Appalachian State. Then Stanford pulled off the improvable upset of 40 pt. favorite USC. It wasn't that Stanford was that horrible (they were), but that USC was supposed to be THAT good. The combined stars on Stanford's sideline during a time out didn't add up to the USC second string backfield. But in a hard fought game the Cardinal did just enough to pull off what would be the upset of the century in any other century.

The season seemed to calm down on the home stretch to lead to nice finish. Ohio State was ranked #1 with several teams foaming at the mouth for the #2 spot. Then the spread came to Columbus and ruined the perfect season. Boston College beat Virginia Tech only to lose the next week to a struggling Florida State. LSU was outlasted by Kentucky.

A Big XII team seemingly guaranteed themselves a spot in the big dance. Mizzou, and Kansas had both secured top 5 spots with only each other to finish out the season. #4 Oklahoma had a trip to Lubbock to take on the Red Raiders before Bedlam with Oklahoma State. They had won the south regardless of the outcome of the final two games. Again, in the year of sheer randomness, Mike Leach and his pirates of the South Plains pulled off another upset.

Now somehow, a Big XII team could end up outside the MNC game. The winner of Mizzou and Kansas would earn a game with the Sooners in the Big XII championship game. Mizzou beat Kansas to earn a chance to face the Sooners for the second time this season.

Mizzou defeated Kansas and earned a #1 spot after climbing back up the charts after a tough loss to Oklahoma. Mizzou had improved significantly since that loss and headed to San Antonio to avenge that loss in the conference championship game. #2 WVU, which lost all hope after a loss against USF earlier in the season, just had to beat a lowly Pittsburg to earn a trip to New Orleans. Both of them fell short.

Somehow against all odds. Ohio State and LSU had moved back up to #1 and #2 respectively. Somehow in the most unpredictable season in recent memory, something predictable happened. Good grief that was cliche.

Go figure.

Some of the more entertaining games (not necessarily upsets):

Texas A&M over Texas

Kentucky over Louisville

Cal over Oregon (not an upset... but heck of a game)

Arkie over LSU

Illinois vs. OSU

Up Next: The Players

Monday, March 10, 2008

All. Some.

From Losers with Socks

Aggies, Hogs to Meet in Jerry-World in '09

Texas A&M and Arkansas have decided to renew their SWC rivalry in Dallas' new stadium. Surely this isn't any sort of way for Arkansas to woo away recruits from the state of Texas.

I wouldn't expect that from an Arkie alum. Ever.

WVU May Have Moved a Little Too Quickly

A Connecticut boy applied for the job of West Virginia's head coach.

Despite having no experience whatsoever.... they still hired Bill Stewart. I just did a google search on Joshua Irizarry and Bill Stewart and it would have been awesome if I had told you that Irizarry had more hits, but it didn't. The kid still pulled up 43k hits. Which is way cooler than if you google my name.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Friday's Friggin' Awesome Film

We're out again today. So Here's the Friday Film

It's Beanie wells tearing some stuff up.

Wells has had to share the field with other talented backs, but 2008 should be his year to shine. He's already on most peoples Heisman Boards.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

JoePa suspends Sixth PSU Player, Says Something About Whippersnappers.

PSU has put it's sixth player on suspension.

Apparently these all stem from one fight in October 7th, which is pretty impressive. If these all counted toward Fulmer Cup, sweet victory might be in JoePa's hands. Not that JoePa ever doesn't have sweet victory in his hands at all times. Every now and then he lends it out to others.

And if your a booster or whatever of PSU and you're thinking of trying to give him the boot after this season he will suspend you too. Except your life and stuff.

Image is from LSUFreek who in fact is in actuality a true freak of the photoshop.

Have a few hours?

I've said it time and time again... but one of the greatest things about college sports is it's ability to make you hate a kid for making a decision when he was 18 years. That idiot who went to the cow college across the state will feel your wrath for the rest of his years as you dominate their team year in and year out (except for the years that the refs screw you.)

For years and year our hatred was held to games and random sightings at Wal-Mart where you threw feminine products and Gay magazines into the cart of a total stranger based on the t-shirt and cap they chose for the day.

But gone are the days of face-to-face smack. The internet has brought the ability of anonymous smack talk to the masses.

And Thank God for it. Without the internet we wouldn't have a fan site called

Without the interwebs we wouldn't have the following list of awesomeness in form of smack talk.

Big East
Big Televen
Pac 10

Some of the more intelligible comments (NSFW at all. Like really. Or appropriate):

- I was 8 years old going to a Maryland game in College Park. Maryland fans threw flaming toilet paper rolls at me and yelled in my face and threw beer bottles at us. They would steal our car flags off our car while we were driving. They burn down their school if they win or lose the final four. I don’t know about Crab Cakes and Football in Maryland, more like Crab Cakes and As@ Holes! The ACC should of never let them yanks join.

-You are so right. It must be those stupid Clemson fans voting that has put SCAR number 1. It couldn’t possibly be that South Carolina fans are ACTUALLY delusional, obnoxious, overbearing, drunk, and for the most part white trash that stumble out of their trailer parks on Saturday’s in the fall and head to ol’ Billy Brice, only to leave in the 3rd quarter when the liquor starts wearing off and the chickens are down by 3 touchdowns. This has to be a conspiracy by Clemson University- probably part of the same conspiracy that has kept USC a losing program for over 100 years!!!

- I have nothing to do with my boring life in Nebraska. I worship a bunch of young men in tight pants that play for my favorite team. Lawrence Phillips beat my sister, but I was cool with that because he is a God to me. Then Christian Peter beat my tranny-girlfriend after he nailed her, but that is even cooler since he is a white guy that plays football for my Huskers and I can’t satisfy my tranny.

- Tceh is made up of country kids that couldn’t get into Texas A&M or Texas. This makes them extremely bitter and they think they can gain rapport with Texas by hating on Texas A&M. Tceh is inferior not only to the flagships in academics, but also lags behind schools such as UH, Texas State, UTEP, UNT, Tarleton State, SFA, Baylor, TCU, St. Edwards, and even Concorida. There are at least 3 dozen schools in Texas with better academics than Texas Tech. I’ve never met a single person ever rejected from tceh.

- I would like to invite all mountaineer fans to attend my couch burning class being offered next Saturday at the brokeback bar & grill. We will cover such topics as using proper accelerants, not catching yourself on fire, denying to the police that it is your couch that is on fire even when it is on your porch, and other hot couch burning topics. I do ask that everyone attending keep to the subject matter at hand and not try to bring in unrelated subject matter....

Rich Rod posters will be available for you to threaten as well.

- UCF has been known to stab fans, cheerleaders, football players, and coaches of other teams. You need a bullet proof vest just to get in the student section. UCF also doesn’t allow anybody to drink from their water fountains. I heard for the halftime show they just put on a dogfight and the fans bet on which dog is going to win.