Linkage

CFN continues giving in the offseason. Here's some more of their previews


Florida Gators

Mizzou Tigahs

Wisconsin Badgers

ESPN is Feeling Spunky Early This Year

ESPN's early rankings by Mark Schlabach

For what it's worth... having a predatory feline as mascot seems to be profitable this year.

4 tigers
1 panther
1 cougar
1 lion


1. OSU Buckeyes
Can't truly fault people here. Tressel's too good to not be ranked as a top 10 team. ESPN is just embracing the inevitable here. See USC below.

2. Georgia Bulldogs
Most are picking them as the sexy number one to start the year. FWIW they're going to be good. And they ain't going to be undefeated.

3. Oklahoma Sooners
It's early. The Sooners have to be ranked high. Late October - Mid November is when Stoops Swan Song dips the Sooners into bolivian

4. USC Trojans
Pete Carroll is stoked folks. Stoked I say. Whoever wins between OSU and USC will either take the #1 spot or #2 behind Georgia.

5. Florida Gators
Florida is an early sexy pick for the MNC. Unless that secondary and running games are nights and day different... I don't see it. Tebow is still Jeebus in cleats for the mean while

6. Mizzou Tigers
What a tough break last year. Beat two BCS teams lose to one (albeit twice) and you get gyped. Still one of the best seasons in school history. Moneymakers Macklin and Daniel are back with a what should still be a solid defense.

7. Clemson Tigers
This is supposed to be Clemson's year to go big.... you know... again. Cullen Harper is a good QB and has come a long way since Charlie left. He's honestly one of the better QB's you probably haven't heard much about

8. Texas Longhorns
The Horns manage to be a perenial top 10 team but have only gotten over the hump of being second in the Big XII once in Mac's tenure. And that was solely based on the freak of nature cheetah/gazelle/emu freak codenamed Vince Young.

9. West Virginia Mountaineers
Slaton and RichRod are gone. But White's still here and some midget named devine who will run circles around you like the pygmies did the Rock in the Rundown. Should still be the class of the East.

10. Auburn Tigers
TT lost a DC and a lot of fire in the offseason but bring in a fancy spread thingy. I think this ranking is based more on reputation than the actual team. Sorry.

11. Texas Tech Red Raiders
18 returning starters and some kid name Crabtree is just sexy. No ifs ands or buts about it. If the defense improves as much as Raiders like to think OU and Texas need to look out.

12. LSU Tigers
Ranking last years winner below 10 is an injury. Ranking them below three teams they beat last year is insult to injury. These tigers are still a top 10 team.

13. ASU Sun Devils
Was the Sun Devils' success based on a down Pac-10 or an improved team. Cal and Oregon imploded late in the season and the Sun Devils were there to reap the benefits. There were no huge stars, but the offense and defense did just enough to merit a 10-3 season. This year will be a more telling year.

14. BYU Cougers
One of the funniest things is the outcry for a team like BYU at the end of the year who may or may not end up undefeated. "They started out ranked so low.... Personally don't do rankings if that's your cry.

wait.... what???

Seriously, the Mormons should be pretty good. They just need to get by the # 0 Huskies and UCLA in consecutive weeks and their golden, Jerry. Gold

15. Tennessee Volunteers
The Vols turned in a better year than anticipated. The loss to Cali and Florida at the first of the season looked ugly but, they rapidly put those behind and won the SEC East and their bowl game. A lot of talent is back and except for that pesky 2005 season, the Vols usually ain't bad.

16. Illinois Fighting Redactors
With Juice Williams still at QB this is a question mark. He can play like an absolute woman one game and then rip off first down after first down straight down the middle the next(OSU. Hint. Hint.)

17. Kansas City Jayhawks
The fighting Manginos did it. They proved they deserved to be in the BCS. However, gone is the stars of the show from last season. The Jayhawks should still be ranked in my book, but we'll see very quickly if they deserve it.


18. Wisconsin Badgers
Everidge and Hill in the backfield = sexy. If Michigan isn't back on top, look for the Badgers to challenge for the Midwest.

19. Pittsburgh Panthers
Again.... I'm calling it here. Pitt don't end the year ranked in the top 20. If I'm wrong you can expect something horribly embarrassing on my end. Like me singing some horrible song or painting

20. Virginia Tech Hokies
The Hokies won't ever be unranked. Just write it down for a while.

21. Fresno State Bulldogs
Probably my favorite mid-major. They're not always ranked, but they're not ever bad. They beat KState and GaTech to finish off a good year.

22. Wake Forest Demon Deacons
Grobe has these guys competitive. Clemson's supposed to be the class of the ACC, but a naked Riley Skinner says otherwise baby!

23. Oregon Ducks
Tough end losing Dixon last year, but the Ducks will rebound and J Johnson should continue racking up the yards

24. Michigan State Spartans
Starting them off ranked is just confusing. Even with Ringer. Top on my teams-not-to-rank- in the preseason poll: Texas A&M, Florida State, Miami, Iowa, and Michigan State. There you go.

25. Penn State Nittany Lions
JoePa. I don't need to add or subtract. Kinda like Revelation.

Screw You and Your #1 Ranking

The Huskies will gladly take #0. Because in this game, the lower the better.

People Who Get Paid to do This Stuff..

over at cfn.com have compiled a most excellent list of the spring game breakdowns:

ACC
Big East
Big 12
Pac 10
SEC



A few of the more prominent ones that we care about:


Oklahoma
In the team’s final scrimmage of the spring season, the defense more than held its own against quarterback Sam Bradford and company, scoring three times on three ‘pick sixes’. Soon-to-be starting cornerback Dominique Franks kicked off the pick six parade with a 57-yarder off of Bradford and then added two other interceptions on the day. The secondary has the most holes to fill on this squad; considering the fact Franks and fellow corner Jonathan Nelson (an 81-yard interception for a touchdown) had strong days spoke volumes as to why head coach Bob Stoops felt so good about his back four.

Mizzou
The buzz in Columbia is as loud as it’s ever been and it was evident for the spring game – televised on ESPNU with over 26,000 in attendance. What they saw was nearly the same thing they saw at the end of the 2007 season and a 71-28 win for the offense. Heisman candidate Chase Daniel was his usual prolific self, completing 22 of 28 passes for 195 yards and two touchdowns. And, in another non-surprise, wide receiver Jemery Maclin had six receptions for 52 yards and a touchdown. However, the defense took some hits this spring, in particular linebacker Van Alexander who went down with a torn knee ligament.



West Virginia
When the proverbial lights went on in Morgantown, the star-studded offense turned it up a couple of notches, piling up 336 yards of total offense in the team’s annual Blue-Gold spring game. Heisman candidate Pat White completed 12 of 16 passes for 133 yards, while quicksilver running back Noel Devine averaged nearly seven yards per carry on his six carries. The defensive star of the day was Najee Goode who led the defense with ten tackles.

USC The annual Trojan Huddle end-of-spring intrasquad game went to overtime, a fantastic finish to a competitive spring. The White emerged victorious 39-36 over the Cardinal squad after receiver Travon Patterson caught a 25-yard touchdown pass from quarterback Aaron Corp. Most of the eyes in the house were on the three quarterbacks battling for the starting position. Mark Sanchez was stellar, completing 16 of 24 passes for 203 yards and three touchdowns, while Arkansas transfer Mitch Mustain completed six of ten for 111 yards and two touchdowns. Corp might have had the best day of all, completing 13 of 16 passes for 158 yards and two touchdowns, including the game-winner.

Ohio State
Over 76,000 people packed the ‘Shoe to watch the Scarlet beat the Gray 20-7 in the annual spring game. All-Big Ten candidate Brian Hartline was the offensive star for the Scarlet team, catching six passes for 82 yards, half of quarterback Todd Boeckman’s 12 completions. A 48-yard toss from Boeckman to Hartline put the Scarlet offense in the position for the first touchdown of the day. Dan Herron hit paydirt on a three-yard touchdown run to seal the deal for the Scarlet team on the rain filled day in Columbus.

Wisconsin
With most of the starters playing for the Cardinal team, the outcome of the annual Cardinal and White game was predictable – a Cardinal 28-3 win. Quarterback Allan Evridge finally has a starting job and finished the game seven of 12 for 137 yards, but with one interception. Running back Lance Smith ran for just under 100 yards, but split time with both Cardinal and White throughout the game. Head coach Bret Bielema was happy with a thin defensive unit that only gave up two touchdowns on the day.

Clemson
All-ACC candidate Cullen Harper led Orange squad to a 16-7 victory over the White in the annual Clemson Spring Game. Harper completed 13 of 18 passes for 142 yards and two touchdowns. While running back James Davis and receiver Jacoby Ford sat out the scrimmage, star receiver Aaron Kelly had a solid outing catching eight passes for 108 yards and a touchdown.

Virginia Tech
One year after the tragic events of the spring of 2007, the Hokies took the field in the annual Maroon and White spring contest, as the starting quarterback tete-a-tete continued. Quarterback Sean Glennon led the Maroon squad to a 24-3 win, hooking up with receiver Brandon Dillard for a 25 yard score in the first half. Dillard also had a 49 yard run on a reverse to set up the Maroon team’s first touchdown. Rising sophomore quarterback Tyrod Taylor struggled throughout the day for the White, throwing one interception and getting sacked three times.


Georgia
The annual G-Day game had some unexpected rain showers, but the rain held off long enough for the Red to beat the Black 17-3. Quarterback Matt Stafford kicked off the scoring, completing a 30-yard pass to receiver Michael Moore for the Red team that had the first team offense and the second team defense. The Black offense was led by running back Caleb King who ran for 31 yards on only six carries. UGA fans have waited an entire season to see King, who was one of the top recruits in the class of 2006.

Florida
Although Tim Tebow got Erin Andrews attention, it was the jitterbug from Lakeland who had everyone else’s. Running back Chris Rainey made his presence known in front of a national television audience and helped lead the Blue to a 28-14 win over the Orange in the annual Orange and Blue Debut. He accounted for 76 yards rushing and one touchdown through the air, in which he embarrassed the Orange secondary with his jock-dropping quickness. Tebow, albeit on a day he was sick as could be, completed 13 of 21 for 200 yards and two touchdowns.

Wow.

We couldn't get a good clip of it... but this is a recent interview w/ Bob Costas, Braylon Edwards, Buzz Bissinger, and Will Liech (of Deadspin). I'll go as far as to say that each of these men are some of the greatest in each of their respective fields. The discussion gets real heated real quick. Bissinger goes off on a tangent on Will and blogs in general.

I agree to an extent. There is a lot of anonymity in blogging. We can say a lot of things behind the cloak of TCP/IP. But we get to do it for fun. We're not trying to make money here. Outside of Perez Hilton, Orson, Liech, and a few others, we'll never make money at this. We do it because we love it. We're trying not to practice real journalism. We want to make jokes about Jim Delaney cussing out Jim Swofford. We want to do a montage of Tommy T. taking out guys knees.

We know we're not the professionals. We know that we're the bunch of 30 year olds playing flag football with bad looking spin moves and cuts. We act way more ridiculous when we score than an NFL player. We know that. You guys are the NFL players.

We get it.

Going on a tirade against the lead blogger doesn't prove your point. It just makes you sound like a profane, angry professional. But still a "professional."

Thief.

It's been super busy... And there hasn't been that much going on.

So I'm going to steal. This is directly from Pete Fiutaks weekly mailbag. Last week he had a question about RichRod and the WVU situation, in which he called WVU the crazy ex-girlfriend

ASK CFN 4/18

And finally …

Last week I remarked that West Virginia fans need to just let it go about Rich Rodriguez leaving for West Virginia. The responses were, well, interesting.

Let it go? Let it go?! The guy owes us $4 million dollars and stabbed us in the back? Pay us our money and live up to your contract with YOU signed. He’s a weasel and he’s trying to get out of paying what’s rightly ours. Let me guess, if it was the other way around you’d be screaming the WVU owes him. – SL

You obviously don't know West Virginia and what it means to be a West Virginian. The way Rich left was horrible. He lied to all of us. He called Terrell Pryor and told him he was going to Michigan before he told his own players, his boss and the West Virginia fans. Many of us got together and scraped up a lot of money to keep him here and he said he was here for a long time. He signed a contract. He crapped on us. He turned his back on his own state. He could have been up front with everything. No. He decided to be a lying snake, secure another job, tell recruits and attempt to get them headed to Michigan on WVU's time, before he tells a soul here in West Virginia. The same West Virginia who ponied up and met his demands just a year prior. He cries about the buyout? If he had stayed, the buyout was scheduled to drop to 2 million in August of this year. Well, if he would just pay WVU what it is owed, then that would give me some personal satisfaction, knowing how bad that hurts him to part with that kind of cash. Let him feel that pain. If or when he does, he can multiply that by 10 and then he will know how this state felt when he did what he did to this state, our school, our players and the fans. - CC

You don’t get West Virginia and you obviously never will. It takes something special to live here. It’s a special place. We don't have much here, so the football program means everything. Of course, you’d never get that. You probably wouldn’t understand a tough life. Your a joke and so is your anti-Mountaineer bias. – FK

You outsiders should just keep your thoughts about West Virginia to yourself. This is a hard place and our football program is our identity and our passion. We don’t have the lifestyle here other places have. So you better show West Virginia some respect or I wouldn’t show my face around here if I were you. And if you do, you’d better look both ways before crossing the street. - Anonymous

You have no idea of the pride of West Virginians and what it means to live in West Virginia. But that isn't what this is about. Unless you're a West Virginian, or you've lived here, you'll never get it anyway. - KG

First of all, did I say anything about the state of West Virginia? Analyzing the football program and saying something about the place are two completely different things (yes, they are), even though fans like to tie the two together.

Second, don’t give me this line about it being West Virginia and somehow West Virginians have some sort of toughness and honor that no outsider could comprehend. Everyone from every state thinks that way. You’re proud of where you’re from. So are Iowans and New Yorkers and Hawaiians and Californians. The excitement is fine, but you can’t thump your chest with this “you wouldn’t understand it” state pride and then keep complaining that it’s a rough place to live. You can’t have it both ways.

And finally, I’m not saying whether or not Rich Rodriguez is right or wrong or whether he’s a good guy or bad. I’m not defending him and I’m not taking his side. He’s a terrific football coach. Period. That’s all he is. Everything else is just corporate legal BS and it really doesn’t matter in your world, even if you think it does.

This has nothing to do with the money. You can use that as something tangible for your anger, but that’s not why you’re having problems with this.

Rodriguez doesn’t owe you. It’s not your money, and spare me the self-righteous garbage about being a tax payer blah, blah, blah. You’d be dead from a stroke if you really cared this much about every bad government or university contract that eats away at your tax dollars. Even if Rodriguez paid back every cent with a smile, you’d still be upset that one of your own rejected you. If you’re angry at the snipping, that’s another story.

Here was a coach who took what Don Nehlen had started and made it better. I know, Mountaineer football had its moments under Nehlen and had chances to win national titles in 1988 and 1993, but that ’88 team beat one team with a pulse (Syracuse) before losing to Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl, and the ’93 team barely got by its four good games before getting blasted by Florida in the Sugar Bowl. No one actually respected West Virginia football since it got rocked every time the bowls kicked in.

Rodriguez changed that.

With the 2006 Sugar Bowl win over Georgia, in Atlanta no less, the Mountaineers joined the world of the truly big-time programs. That wasn’t just any team WVU beat; that was the SEC champ in its own house. Now the program really was a national title contender and wasn’t just in the hunt based on a fat record against mediocre competition. The entire state had something to get really fired up about, and its fan base, who’s not used to the scrutiny that comes with the spotlight (ask me sometime about the time spent trying to keep Marshall fans in check when they thought their team was of national title stock) went crazy at anyone who dared speak in anything other than glowing terms when it came to their pride and joy.

Then Rodriguez, who had the program on the cusp of playing for the national championship before blowing it against Pitt, leaves for Michigan. It’s not like he pulled a Dennis Franchione and left Alabama for Texas A&M, at best a lateral move. Whether or not you believe it, the Michigan job is one of the biggest in all of sports and one of the crown jewels among coaches.

WVU fans, you have to understand that no coach ever, EVER leaves gracefully, and no coach ever, EVER knows how to handle it right. Sure, it would’ve been nice if Rodriguez was up front and honest about everything, but coaches can’t be … to a point. They can’t talk about another job and then be all smiles and happiness when it doesn’t work out (cough, Glen Mason at Minnesota when he wanted the Ohio State job, cough). That kills recruiting and becomes a mega-distraction and a ridiculous circus (cough, Les Miles, cough).

Had LSU not played for the national title, Miles would’ve ended up being the Michigan head football coach, Rodriguez would’ve stayed at West Virginia, and none of this would’ve happened. But it did, you have a new head man, and while the program might not be as good over the long haul, it’ll be fine for now.

Fine, so you wish Rodriguez handled everything better and showed more respect to the University and to West Virginia. Now be the better man, or fans, and take the high road. Instead of getting all hot and bothered, you should be happy Rodriguez made your program matter. You should be happy that West Virginia football is such a big deal. You should be happy at all the fun memories you had when he was the head man. You should realize that this is big business and that your company lost its CEO and replaced him with another good one who should be able to keep the train rolling. You should wish Rodriguez well at Michigan, because for better or worse, he still represents you. You should let it all go and enjoy what should be a fantastic 2008 season.

Feel better? No? Fine, you may now commence with your usual barrage of grouchy and misguided “CFN hates West Virginia” e-mails.

Mailbag Alert

It's been a while since there has been a good mailbagging, but Fiu provided some good fodder this week.

Personally I really wish these people would just publish the ones that don't make sense... but I don't get paid for this stuff.


why does every national media personality be them writers or tv commentators, talk radio hosts and non-Georgia fans alike, their memories all begin in 1990? Every single stat that gets mentioned nationally regardless of year only references what has happened since 1990. Not 1989, ’88, 87 etc, you get the point. Just who anointed history to be written from there? – HW


I didn't see a complete sentence in there.... but you know... word.


PLEASE SETTLE AN OUTGOING DEBATE BETWEEN MY FRIEND AND I. WE BOTH LOVE OHIO STATE AND WERE DISAPPOINTED WITH THE LAST 2 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP GAMES. MY FRIEND SAYS THE BIG TEN SUCKS THE LAST 2 YEARS AND WAS THE WORST B.C.S. LEAGUE OUT OF THE 6. HE'S SAYS #5 (ABOVE THE ACC IF HE'S NICE). I SAY THE MEDIA (NOT C.F.N.) HAVE BEEN VERY UNFAIR TO COMPLETELY BASH THE BIG TEN EVEN THOUGH I ADMIT IT HAS BEEN DISAPPOINTING AT TIMES. WOULD YOU PLEASE GIVE US YOUR RANKINGS OF THE 6 B.C.S LEAGUES FOR THE 2006 AND 2007 SEASONS SO WE CAN MAYBE END OUR ONGOING DEBATE? – JB


All caps definitely makes a better point than the whole logical statement idea. The grammar is better, but when you shout, who needs proper grammar? Seriously.

Matt Leinert = Winner

This morning quite a few sites came up with some resepctable members of Phoenix society living it up with star QB, Matt Leinart (and Nick Lachey*... but we'll leave that to wwtdd.com). By respectable, we mean underage alcohol drinking females that decided it would be a good idea to post pictures of themselves with Matt Leinart after the swell guy invited the girls over to his house. And supplied said alcohol.

We'll let thedirty.com take it from here. A little to stalkerish for us, but hey if it leads to some retards getting what they deserve, kudos from us.


* on a side note... maybe Jessica wasn't that dumb after all.

NCAA = Teh Wainches

Like clockwork, the *(&^%!@# NCAA steps in to ruin all things normal and fun. The hammer that is Myles Brand has said that the football teams that will be part of the "Gridirion Bash" concert series would violate some sort of NCAA policy.

What policy you ask?

Who the foxtrot knows?

Wait, wait...

Here it is:

“We never expressed any concern with the actual event being conducted as scheduled,” the NCAA said in a written statement, “but only with the participation of student-athletes as part of the for-profit event.”

According to the NCAA, MSL wanted to use the appearance of football players as part of the event, and did not want to require athletes to pay admission. Both would have violated NCAA rules

Holy crap? Y'all have a problem with the schools making money off of students popularity? The same organization that allows for tickets to sell for thousands of dollars and doesn't mind taking a chunk of that every single week of the season has a problem with football players seeing a concert for free? Completely understandable.

Crap, I have a problem with third and fourth string punters getting into the games for free. Most of them will never have to do anything on a gameday and they get a seat 10 times better than the one I paid for.

Lou, Charlie: Beano Got Your Back

Watch the second video here.

+100 if you actually decipher any thing from that message other than that Charlie needs to be a nice guy.

An excerpt from the Bowden Houlthz Q&A

Yesterday we reported that Bobby Bowden and Lou Holtz would be handling a Q&A at the FSU coaches clinic. We got ahold of an excerpt


Amato: Thanks for coming folks. We're taking questions from the audience with legendary coaches Bobby Bowden and Lou Holtz. I'm your moderater Chuck Amato.

Holtz: It's good to be here guys.

Bowden: We're really looking forward to your questions today, folks.

Amato: First Question, What has been the effect of the spread offense in today's game?

Bowden: ....

Holtz: ....

Bowden: Chuck, you're going to have to point at one of us because we can't see who you're looking at with those sunglasses on.

(Amato raises an eyebrow and points to Holtz)

Holtz: Well we never faced to much of that pesky thread in my day. Let me tell you about this one time at Notre Dame when we fac...

Bowden: Dadgumit Lou they didn't have the spread back then. Folks, the spread is a pretty tough little offense to defend nowadays. One of the main things you have to have is speed. With offenses taking up the space of the field that they do now you really need to have ends, linebackers, and a secondary that can cover lots of territory, and I mean cover it quickly. You gotta stop thinking positional and see your defense as player X who covers this man or area and adapt. You also have to start playing smart with hiding your safety play and where he lines up. That can make a huge change on how the spread is ran. Taking the clock away is also important with a spread offense. The best defense is a good offense in that situation... heh heh... you know what I mean.

Amato: Thanks coach. Next question. Coaches how do you feel that instant replay has changed the game so far?

Bowden: Well you really feel that when you instigate something like that some of these horribly bad calls are going to be put to rest. Then you get to a situation like Oklahoma had a few years back where replay had the perfect chance to save a bad call and they miss it. Other calls like that have been pretty bad. Those dadblasted Gators even got screwed a year or two back with a fumble call that should have been an incompletion. The point being that as long as it's run by humans it's still going to have faults.

Holtz: Let me tell you pardner, if we had had instant replay when I was Notre Dame we could have had 2 more championships.

Amato:...

Amato: ... Is that all Lou?

Holtz: Yep.

Amato: ... Another question then. Who's your pick for the National Champion this year, coaches?

Bowden: Clemson or Florida State..... haha just kidding guys. As always we expect this year to be competitive and it's always anybody's game. USC, OSU, and Oklahoma are always in the title mix and should be again this year. Everybody's favorite this year seems to Georgia. Mark's done a fine job, i say a fine job, up in Athens and he deserves every bit of credit he can get. He's my pick... behind the Seminoles of course.... (jokingly elbows Lou)

Holtz: Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Amato: Lou, look I know you have a lot of loyalty to them an...

Holtz: THE Notre Dame Fighting Irish.

Amato: Lou, really, they're coming off a 3-9 season with a pretty inexperienced offensive line. I know there one of the greatest teams of history... but man they to lost Nav.....

Holtz: NBC's instant replay crew screwed us on that one.

Bowden: Us?

Holtz: I mean the Irish. Horribly

Amato: Moving on.... Chuck how did your chest get so bi...... Never mind. Next one up. Coaches, each of you have faced some strong controversies in your time as coaches. Coach Holtz you had the situation with the brawl at your final game on the sidelines. Coach Bowden you had to bench 30 players in your bowl game due to a cheating scandal. How do you deal with those.

Lou: We never had any trouble when I was at Notre Da....

Bobby: DADGUM IT LOU!!! CAN YOU TALK ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN NOTRE DAME!!! YOU DON'T WORK THERE ANY MORE.

Chuck: Ummm can we get some water in here? One more question here... lets' see. Chuck, how do you have top defenses and top draft picks every year and NC State and still manage to fail miser....

Well that's all for today folks. Don't forget to pick up your packets in the back.

Excuse Me. I'll be in Tallahassee.

Coach Bobby Bowden and Lou Houlthz will be putting doing a Q&A at FSU's annual coaches' clinic. The awesomeness that is Bobby Bowden combined by the senility of Lou could only be improved by one thing.

Being moderated by JoePa.

Sadly that won't happen.

The next best thing will though. Coach Chuck "the Chest" Amato will be the moderater. While the article doesn't explicitly say it... Chuck will in fact be wearing sunglasses.

I just peed a little out of joy.

Favre Retires

Brett Favre is finally hanging up the cleats. (Espn.com)

We know he's a professional but he was a stud under Jeff Bower at Southern Miss before that and upset some good teams while playing in Hattiesburg.

Some of his great accolades include (from Wikipedia):

- most career NFL touchdown passes (442)
- most career NFL passing yards (61,655)
- most career pass completions (5,377)
- most career pass attempts (8,758)
- most career NFL interceptions thrown (288)
- most consecutive starts (253,),
- most career wins @ starting QB (160)
- 2 Superbowl appearances
- 1 Superbowl win
- 3 time NFL MVP
- 2007 Sportsman of the year
- caught his own first pass in the NFL
- and the most important stat I've ever seen..... has played 17 seasons in the NFL and has started every game since his first start for the Packers in 1992.

Nobody. I repeat NOBODY will touch something like that ever again.

Rest easy, buddy.

A Great Site

There is a great little site I've uncovered by BiggusRickus called Rice is Rolling Over in His Grave.

Basically BiggusRickus makes fun of poor writing in college football.

And that's awesome.

Because most of the professionals suck.

Hipness defined.

D-Mac. You could come to Dallas and play for this. You know you want to.

From WithLeather

CFB Sportscaster Offseason (part 2)

We left off the previous installment of the Offseason after learning of Brent's search for a new boy toy, Mark's root searching extravaganza, and Kirk's victory lap.

Today we bring you more


Lee Corso

Lee, Lee.... Gosh I miss your smiling face hidden by the mascot of the week. Lee usually disappears after the thing where they invite graduating seniors to some sort of combinesque event where the winners of each event get a free TV.

After that you don't see the man until College Football Live begins in late July. What does he do in that time?

He tans the bejeezus out of himself according to EDSBS. You've got to imagine that Corso heads off to some remote location and watches Dickie V the entire off-season. The two get together after the B-Ball tournament to practice and create brand new shtick as well as find a new team to bandwagon upon. Well not Dickie. He's impermanently attached to Duke and their nether regions. The rest of the offseason with those two involve merkins, Hooters, and head gear. We can't get to into it as we're a PG-13 site.



Desmond Howard

We don't really know what Desmond does to be honest. We'd like to think that he practices sweet moves to show us whenever they roll out the huge mini-field (you see what we did there?) to show us, the common fan, how teams run plays. Personally this is my favorite part of GameDay. Tons of fans that know nothing about football other than their team rules and that your team sucks. Will scream and cheer like anything Howard makes sense to them.

Most likely the offseason is spent grumbling and sulking because he still has to listen to that ***** Herbstreit. He secretly waits for the chance to clothesline him someday when Herbie lines up opposite of him. They have both said that rivalry has to be put on the side when doing commentary. But we know they're both full of poop and would kill each other in a heartbeat.


Trev Alberts
Usually doesn't talk to much as he continues to heal his face each off season. Continually sticking a foot in your mouth will do that. Also getting b-slapped by Brian Jones on each and every Crystal Ball.

After an epic fail at the hands of the gameday crew he continues hoping and waiting for CSTV to overtake all things ESPN. Hope has grown dim as Fire Mark May is now down for the count.





He also has apparently an issue with Lord Swindle.



More to come

D-Mac is slightly, moderately quick

This is being slightly contested right now.... but regardless.








In case you didn't quite catch that:

4.27 seconds

40 yards.




Darren McFadden.

Yes you want him on your team.

CFB Sportscaster Offseason (part 1)

If you're like me... you wonder what your favorite college football personalties and coaches are doing this off-season. Well of course you do, too. Well, we're bringing it to you in a two-part post.


Kirk Herbstreit
First off, Kirk sold his house to start the off-season.

After this he went into hiding on vacation after two epic failures great victories involving LSU. The first being his brilliant reporting skills. The second was his alma mater dominating the MNC game... well Again.





Mark May
Mark usually spends his off-seasons in Africa getting to know his roots and stuff. The first part of this trip is his annual visit to a the South African beach to dry off from the spit and slobber of Lou Houlthz from a solid five months of sharing a desk.

After that, he attends African sporting events to compare the success of Black coaches with White coaches in America. Expect him to bring up the fact that winning percentage of black coaches over there rival the winning percentages of White coaches here come December, when positions start opening up. (I'll let that one soak in)


Brent Musburger
Ahhhh.... Brent. Dandy of a day... Brent. Brent spends the first part of his off season doing court-side commentary of Basketball. This is usually a diversion as he's actually using this as a chance to scout out his boy-crush for the fall. Previous boy-crushes have included Colt McCoy and Chase Daniel.

This is also a chance to continue working on his rhetoric for his drinking game. Listen for foot races, dandies, and pardners.



Erin Andrews
When not with Kirk Herbstreit working the court or diamond, Erin usually hides under a rock.

The reason? People are obsessed with her. In a bad, bad way.








Lou Houlthz
Lou Houlthz has several activities during the off season. Most of it is spent in the shadow of Charlie Weis' stomach, which isn't difficult. There he recharges his shtick and passion for all things Notre Dame.

He then practices and rehearses speech to Sylvester and Tweety reruns....

(actually I think more sense is made in a Tweety and Sylvester conversation that Lou and Mark, but I digress)

The rest of the off season is spent locked in a cave somewhere near South Bend drawing up plays and Locker Room talks to deliver during the course of the season.



Coming up (Corso, Fowler, Howard, and much much more)