Wednesday, February 27, 2008

CFB Sportscaster Offseason (part 2)

We left off the previous installment of the Offseason after learning of Brent's search for a new boy toy, Mark's root searching extravaganza, and Kirk's victory lap.

Today we bring you more

Lee Corso

Lee, Lee.... Gosh I miss your smiling face hidden by the mascot of the week. Lee usually disappears after the thing where they invite graduating seniors to some sort of combinesque event where the winners of each event get a free TV.

After that you don't see the man until College Football Live begins in late July. What does he do in that time?

He tans the bejeezus out of himself according to EDSBS. You've got to imagine that Corso heads off to some remote location and watches Dickie V the entire off-season. The two get together after the B-Ball tournament to practice and create brand new shtick as well as find a new team to bandwagon upon. Well not Dickie. He's impermanently attached to Duke and their nether regions. The rest of the offseason with those two involve merkins, Hooters, and head gear. We can't get to into it as we're a PG-13 site.

Desmond Howard

We don't really know what Desmond does to be honest. We'd like to think that he practices sweet moves to show us whenever they roll out the huge mini-field (you see what we did there?) to show us, the common fan, how teams run plays. Personally this is my favorite part of GameDay. Tons of fans that know nothing about football other than their team rules and that your team sucks. Will scream and cheer like anything Howard makes sense to them.

Most likely the offseason is spent grumbling and sulking because he still has to listen to that ***** Herbstreit. He secretly waits for the chance to clothesline him someday when Herbie lines up opposite of him. They have both said that rivalry has to be put on the side when doing commentary. But we know they're both full of poop and would kill each other in a heartbeat.

Trev Alberts
Usually doesn't talk to much as he continues to heal his face each off season. Continually sticking a foot in your mouth will do that. Also getting b-slapped by Brian Jones on each and every Crystal Ball.

After an epic fail at the hands of the gameday crew he continues hoping and waiting for CSTV to overtake all things ESPN. Hope has grown dim as Fire Mark May is now down for the count.

He also has apparently an issue with Lord Swindle.

More to come

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