Thursday, February 21, 2008

CFB Sportscaster Offseason (part 1)

If you're like me... you wonder what your favorite college football personalties and coaches are doing this off-season. Well of course you do, too. Well, we're bringing it to you in a two-part post.

Kirk Herbstreit
First off, Kirk sold his house to start the off-season.

After this he went into hiding on vacation after two epic failures great victories involving LSU. The first being his brilliant reporting skills. The second was his alma mater dominating the MNC game... well Again.

Mark May
Mark usually spends his off-seasons in Africa getting to know his roots and stuff. The first part of this trip is his annual visit to a the South African beach to dry off from the spit and slobber of Lou Houlthz from a solid five months of sharing a desk.

After that, he attends African sporting events to compare the success of Black coaches with White coaches in America. Expect him to bring up the fact that winning percentage of black coaches over there rival the winning percentages of White coaches here come December, when positions start opening up. (I'll let that one soak in)

Brent Musburger
Ahhhh.... Brent. Dandy of a day... Brent. Brent spends the first part of his off season doing court-side commentary of Basketball. This is usually a diversion as he's actually using this as a chance to scout out his boy-crush for the fall. Previous boy-crushes have included Colt McCoy and Chase Daniel.

This is also a chance to continue working on his rhetoric for his drinking game. Listen for foot races, dandies, and pardners.

Erin Andrews
When not with Kirk Herbstreit working the court or diamond, Erin usually hides under a rock.

The reason? People are obsessed with her. In a bad, bad way.

Lou Houlthz
Lou Houlthz has several activities during the off season. Most of it is spent in the shadow of Charlie Weis' stomach, which isn't difficult. There he recharges his shtick and passion for all things Notre Dame.

He then practices and rehearses speech to Sylvester and Tweety reruns....

(actually I think more sense is made in a Tweety and Sylvester conversation that Lou and Mark, but I digress)

The rest of the off season is spent locked in a cave somewhere near South Bend drawing up plays and Locker Room talks to deliver during the course of the season.

Coming up (Corso, Fowler, Howard, and much much more)

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