Gold Jerry Gold

Doug over at Hey Jenny Slater did an outstanding post on Undrafting the NFL
(Getting rid of current players to make your team better)



Some highlights if I may:


9. CINCINNATI BENGALS
The pick: WR Chad Johnson, Oregon State. Obviously, he doesn't want to be there. Cut him so the Redskins can sign him. I mean, so that your team morale improves. That's what I meant to say, team morale.



10. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
The pick: TE Jeremy Shockey, Miami (Fla.). No, they haven't actually signed the poster child for repressed homosexuality yet, but you just know they're gonna. Saints, I'm begging you to stop this danse macabre by pre-emptively un-signing this overrated thimbledick, thereby preventing him from douching up what otherwise looks like it could be a reasonably solid team going into 2008. Haven't the people of New Orleans suffered enough?




13. CAROLINA PANTHERS
The pick: WR Dwayne Jarrett, Southern Cal. I was really pissed when the Panthers drafted him last year rather than his USC teammate -- come on, Panthers, you're afraid of having two Steve Smiths on the roster? That could've been the source of some of the greatest misdirection plays in league history if only you'd given it a chance.


22. CLEVELAND BROWNS
The pick: QB Brady Quinn, Notre Dame. Everyone who thinks Brady Quinn will ever take a meaningful snap for the Browns, raise your hand. (Put your hand down, Brady.)

31. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
The pick: QB Tom Brady, Michigan; WR Wes Welker, Texas Tech; LB Tedy Bruschi, Arizona. As punishment for Spygate, the Pats’ control over the 31st overall pick is taken away and handed over to a three-judge panel consisting of Roger Goodell, me, and my friend Joe who’s a rabid Colts fan; the Patriots also get an additional first-round player taken away from them (and a third taken away solely because of Bill Simmons). These three players are dismissed as part of a tough-love social experiment to see if the Patriots’ legions of suspiciously recent fans will still support them if they don’t have any white players to cheer for.




And saving the best for last:


28. DALLAS COWBOYS
The pick: QBGF Jessica Simpson, J.J. Pearce High School. Yes, this is the obvious joke, but we all know Tony Romo’s brain barely has enough RAM to hold down simple tasks like handling a field-goal snap; even the most blinkered Cowboys fan out there can’t honestly think Chuckles is ever gonna win a playoff game as long as he’s got the added distraction of blond hair and an (admittedly spectacular) pair of tits following him around wherever he goes. Give J-Simp the heave-ho, set Romes up with a chick who looks more like Peter King, and give him a chance to spread his wings and fly, dammit!

Favre Retires

Brett Favre is finally hanging up the cleats. (Espn.com)

We know he's a professional but he was a stud under Jeff Bower at Southern Miss before that and upset some good teams while playing in Hattiesburg.

Some of his great accolades include (from Wikipedia):

- most career NFL touchdown passes (442)
- most career NFL passing yards (61,655)
- most career pass completions (5,377)
- most career pass attempts (8,758)
- most career NFL interceptions thrown (288)
- most consecutive starts (253,),
- most career wins @ starting QB (160)
- 2 Superbowl appearances
- 1 Superbowl win
- 3 time NFL MVP
- 2007 Sportsman of the year
- caught his own first pass in the NFL
- and the most important stat I've ever seen..... has played 17 seasons in the NFL and has started every game since his first start for the Packers in 1992.

Nobody. I repeat NOBODY will touch something like that ever again.

Rest easy, buddy.

Hipness defined.

D-Mac. You could come to Dallas and play for this. You know you want to.

From WithLeather

I would hate to live in New York State

Why the title to this posting you ask?

Because your tax dollars are about to be wasted tomorrow paying for a parade for a team that isn't even housed in your state.

I don't guess you could ask for much more.

You did elect somebody who had never lived in your state before to senate six months after they moved there so I guess you're already good with people mooching off your stuff.

Bill Belichick continues to be a class act

While there's a whole lot of important analysis on the game last night there is one thing that stood out to me above certain others.

Bill Belichick did the same thing the last time he lost (an upset from Eli Manning's brother Peyton in last year's Divisional playoff game.) He said the minimal in congratulations to Tom Coughlin and hightailed it out of there with 1 second remaining. I could give him the benefit of the doubt to believe that he really thought the game was over. That wouldn't excuse the whole not talking to any of the players on his team or the Giants

The great winners usually aren't good losers, but Bill takes the cake.

On other notes:

ESPN continues to be a cancer to the teams it promotes as the greatest ever.

I'll be honest here, ESPN.

Here are my teams: Texas Tech University, Texas A&M University, Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Mavericks, and the Texas Rangers. I know it's not likely, but if any of them have continued success similar to USC or the Patriots success, I would appreciate it if you give them the minimal coverage possible.

K. Thanx. Bai.