Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Marketing campaign

In light of the awesomeness buzzing around about Rutgers' new mouthpieces. (Site for mouthpieces here ), Knute would like to take a chance to bring you some newfangled pieces of equipment that will enhance your teams performance.

Anabolic Wool Socks

Do your teams feet get tired at the end of a game? Does your tailback just need a little extra umph at the end of the 3rd quarter? Did you ever stop and think why?

Well, moron it's because their feet have been deprived of anabolic energy.

Try our new Anabolic wool socks. They will heat up the feet of the quickest scat back before the first snap. These socks are a must-have on humid days in the SEC. You can tell it's really working when your athlete's foot start feeling moist. At that point you can know your athlete will be performing at his top level of performance.

Gold Bond™ PeePee Protector

Tired of players complaining about nut blocks and cheap shots in the pile? Use Gold Bond's new PeePee Protector. Nothing brings the fire like a newfound eunich. This powder will numb your boys to the point of perfection. You can't feel pain when you can't feel your .... my old man always used to say.

Book Blocker 2000

Frustrated that other teams seem know your plays before you even call them? Does it almost seem as if they're in your playbook?

Probably because those sorry illegitimate children are using a psychic. Well, worry no more!!

Our patented aluminum technology will keep those guys out of your coordinator's head.


Sometimes, do you just wish that ref could forget that one play?

We understand. Just a quick puff and blow and that zebra will forget the last 30 seconds quicker than you can say "facemask"
Some Testimonials:

"Fourth down, Smourth Down."
- Bill McCartney

"Great for kickoffs!"
- Mike Belotti

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