Monday, April 21, 2008


In today's latest edition of stuff people like:

Stuff Green and Gold People Like

Loafers - Baylor kids like wearing shorts and (but never jorts as Baptist kids are above that) moccasins or loafers without socks. Waco is like one large house where the kids never actually leave their own home. The same loafer wearers also had trouble putting their collars down on their Izod polos. Seeing as how I was in their house, I refrained from letting them know of their slight error in attire.

Not smoking - Green and Gold people don't smoke either it turns out. Baby Jesus doesn't like it. If you ever just want to waste a few hundred square feet, build a smoking area in a restaurant in Waco, TX. For what it's worth. I did see a college-age pipe smoker.

And that's cool.

Jewish and Smoker?
Waco's not for you my friend

Being Skinny - Another thing Green and Gold people don't like is to eat. Despite having more than a few decent restaurants, I felt like my 200 lb frame raised the average of the town by about 5%. Every person in the place walked around with celery and cottage cheese.

Throwing stuff- Things aren't going your way at a Baylor game? Screw sportsmanship. We're going to heaven and you're going to hell. Suck on our Dr. Pepper bottles of wrath, fellow Big XII fans.

Dr. Pepper - speaking of cola, Baylor Fans love Dr. Pepper. The good stuff ( and by that I mean good if you're into cough syrup) is made and brewed an hour away in Dublin, TX. The Dr. Pepper museum is in Waco, TX. As is the Texas Ranger Hall of Fame. And the Texas Sports Hall of Fame. How did Waco get those?

Track - In a school that isn't held down by those goofy "state school regulations." Baylor has had some good track teams. That Michael Johnson kid was half decent. Why they can't find real success in anything but Women's Hoops, I dunno. But Bayfordukeandywestern wouldn't be Bayfordukeandywestern without Baylor. It'd be Fordukeandywestern. Which just doesn't sound nearly as good.

Baby-doll dresses - Green and Gold chicks like Baby-doll dresses. With everything. Going to the club? Hey I should wear a baby doll dress and a(n optional) skirt. Class? Baby-doll dress and jeans. Big game? Baby-doll dress and shorts.

Texas Longhorns and Texas Tech Red Raiders - Why do Baylor fans like two in-state rivals, because it's the closest they can get to beating their true hated rival, the Texas A&M Aggies. Why beat them when you can have others do it for you?

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