Meeting of the Minds

The transcript from the meeting of the BCS Commissioner in south Florida

Mike Tranghese - Big East
Dan Beebe - Big 12
Mike Slive - SEC
Kevin White - ND Athletic Director
John Swofford - ACC and BCS Commissioner
Thomas Hansen - Pac 10
Jim Delany - Big 10




JS: Hey guys thanks for getting together again this year. Great year all around for everybody. Mike nice championship. Two in a row for you.

MS: You're @#$% right nice year. The SEC rules all.

JS: Calm down, calm down... ok ok. Old Business?

KW: Yes. We talked last year about changing some of the revisions to get Notre Dame into the BCS more easily...

JS, MS, DB, JD, TH, MT: ... grumble grumble grumble.............

KW: ... well I think we need to change it more.

JS: Why the heck do we need to do that?

KW: Well we got left out this year.

DB: You guys won 3 games man... what do you expect?

KW: We're Notre Dame. We're the definition of...

JS: We'll talk about it later Kev.

KW: OK... but don't forget like last year.

JS: We won't. OK new business?

MT: I would like to make a motion. I want to kick out you, John, and Jim Delany

JD: What? Why?

JS: That's ridiculous Mike. Why would we do that?

MT: Well.... we're still pissy about the whole raid of Virginia Tech and Miami thing.

JS: Mike that was over five years ago man.

MT: And our only good coach left for Jim's league to Michigan

JD: That's not my fault.

MT: I don't care. I'm tired of sucking. We've sucked for too long. It's somebody else's turn to start sucking for a while. Why not the Big 10. They've sucked up their last four BCS appearances. Or the Big XII We beat OU. Yeah let Dan for a while now. He's the rookie.

JS: It doesn't work like that. Maybe y'all need to get some more competitive teams. Kevin, I don't get why you guys can't just join up like in the other sports.

KW: We're Notre Dame. We don't need a league. We'd dominate the East. No question.

MT: Y'all sucked last year. We won our BCS game against Oklahoma. You won three games and lost to Navy for the first time in forever.

JS: OK we'll talk about that one later to guys. Let's talk about the elephant in the room.

BCS.
Controversy.
Playoffs.
Plus-one.

All: ... ... ...

JS: Come on guys you have to talk about it this year. They said we would and I have to say something to the reporters.

Jim, Thomas have y'all made any head way.

JD: #$@$#%$#% you and #@$%$%$ your @$#@$% playoffs. Rose Bowl or bust &^%^*%.

TH: Yeah. What he said!

DB: Guys come on you have to at least talk to us about this... why not?

TH: The Rose Bowl stays. It is the Grand Daddy of them all.

DB: Look guys, I know you hate losing the match up but we all have to at one point or another. It's just part of the deal. We didn't get to be in the Fiesta Bowl for two years there. It's just a part of trying to find the best teams.

JD: The Pac 10 and the Big 10 are the best teams.

MS: Y'all have two championships this decade guys.

TH: 2003 counts.

MS: Like heck it does. LSU won that fair and square.

TH: The AP says otherwise.

MS: The AP also has Pitt ranked before the start of the season

MT: Hey!!! What's wrong with that!

DB: Shut up Big Least.

JS: Calm down calm down guys. Come on. Now look. This is why we have to figure this out. All the arguing and fighting has to stop. We set up a solid system and this stuff goes away.

KW: I'll only accept a plus-one/playoff if ND is guauranteed an invite.

JS: We can't do that Kevin.

KW: Why?

JS: Is it fair if we invite a 0-12 Notre Dame over a 12-0 Boise State?

DB and KW: Yes!!!

KW: Dan... why do you care.... oh yeah. Forgot about that.

DB: Shutup.

JS: Stop it all of you. Am I going to have to call Myles again.

All: No sir.

JS: Good. Now seriously. We've got to decide on something. We're taking too much heat.

Jim.
Thomas.

I need you guys to be serious and help us out here. We're going to have to be serious here and have some intelligent discussion. Playoffs. ABC. Rose Bowl. Breakup.

JD, TH: (begin singing) We shall be free.... We shall be free. So stand straight, Walk proud, 'Cause we shall be free.

(JS begins crying quietly)

DB: How about we keep the Rose Bowl and the match up, but just make it a part of the playoffs?

JD: The Rose Bowl is the MNC each year.

MS: No it's not, man. It hosts the MNC game once every four years like every other Bowl.

JD: No it's the MNC.

TH: He's right.

JS: (wiping his tears and speaking through a broken voice) Let's just bump it to next year.

sob..

sniff...

JD: Anything else wainch?

NH: Yeah got got something else to say?

JS: No. Good meeting.... See you guys.... sniff... sob... next year.

(Delaney and Hansen slap each other on the back and walk out for a night of bar hopping and loose living. Swofford curls into a ball continues crying.)

KW: Wait what about the BCS and the...

MT: Not this year man... next year maybe... next year.

DB: Are all the meetings like this?

MS: Well a lot of them involve some fighting so this was a relatively good one.

MT: You get used to the crying after a few years.

Charlie, It's Not That We Hate You Because You're That Good,

it's that your school pulls crap like this on a regular basis.

Notre Dame continues to try and schedule teams without giving them the benefit of home games.

Instead of bending over and taking it, Rutgers politely told the Irish where they could stick their home and not-home series.

Personally, I'm glad. Teams need to have some pride and demand that the big boys come to their house.

It's ridiculous and insulting that ND would make that offer to a team that is in the same conference for every other sport. Schiano has changed things at Rutgers and I'm glad that this has been a part of it.

Long weekend

It was a very long weekend.


I can't go in to too many details.

The short version involves poker, calk, eye sties, getting beat with a high four-of-a-kind by a slightly higher four-of-a-kind, bubblegum, toilets, Splinter Cell, carpentry, vandals, tornadoes, the NFL Draft, mirrors, paninis, Lord's Supper, moving couches down stairs, jager, and most importantly Whataburger's Honey Butter Chicken Biscuit.

Without the love of a woman, the grace of God, or the HBCB I probably wouldn't have made it.

Gold Jerry Gold

Doug over at Hey Jenny Slater did an outstanding post on Undrafting the NFL
(Getting rid of current players to make your team better)



Some highlights if I may:


9. CINCINNATI BENGALS
The pick: WR Chad Johnson, Oregon State. Obviously, he doesn't want to be there. Cut him so the Redskins can sign him. I mean, so that your team morale improves. That's what I meant to say, team morale.



10. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
The pick: TE Jeremy Shockey, Miami (Fla.). No, they haven't actually signed the poster child for repressed homosexuality yet, but you just know they're gonna. Saints, I'm begging you to stop this danse macabre by pre-emptively un-signing this overrated thimbledick, thereby preventing him from douching up what otherwise looks like it could be a reasonably solid team going into 2008. Haven't the people of New Orleans suffered enough?




13. CAROLINA PANTHERS
The pick: WR Dwayne Jarrett, Southern Cal. I was really pissed when the Panthers drafted him last year rather than his USC teammate -- come on, Panthers, you're afraid of having two Steve Smiths on the roster? That could've been the source of some of the greatest misdirection plays in league history if only you'd given it a chance.


22. CLEVELAND BROWNS
The pick: QB Brady Quinn, Notre Dame. Everyone who thinks Brady Quinn will ever take a meaningful snap for the Browns, raise your hand. (Put your hand down, Brady.)

31. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
The pick: QB Tom Brady, Michigan; WR Wes Welker, Texas Tech; LB Tedy Bruschi, Arizona. As punishment for Spygate, the Pats’ control over the 31st overall pick is taken away and handed over to a three-judge panel consisting of Roger Goodell, me, and my friend Joe who’s a rabid Colts fan; the Patriots also get an additional first-round player taken away from them (and a third taken away solely because of Bill Simmons). These three players are dismissed as part of a tough-love social experiment to see if the Patriots’ legions of suspiciously recent fans will still support them if they don’t have any white players to cheer for.




And saving the best for last:


28. DALLAS COWBOYS
The pick: QBGF Jessica Simpson, J.J. Pearce High School. Yes, this is the obvious joke, but we all know Tony Romo’s brain barely has enough RAM to hold down simple tasks like handling a field-goal snap; even the most blinkered Cowboys fan out there can’t honestly think Chuckles is ever gonna win a playoff game as long as he’s got the added distraction of blond hair and an (admittedly spectacular) pair of tits following him around wherever he goes. Give J-Simp the heave-ho, set Romes up with a chick who looks more like Peter King, and give him a chance to spread his wings and fly, dammit!

New Unis Baby!

Utah Utes





Hawaii Warriors




Minnesota Golden Gophers






Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets





Miami Hurricanes


All Canes is refuting said rumor
Still cool looking though



Texas A&M Aggies
(New helmets)

Players We're Friggin' Excited About

Mike Goodson, Texas A&M

Goodson was expected to be a star out of the gate for the Aggies but had to share the field with Jorvorskie Lane and QB Stephen McGee.

Franchione opted (and "brilliantly" at that) to let his QB have the most rushing yards. The option didn't fit as well with Goodson's skillset. While he had his moments, Goodson never got to be the featured back.

Franchione was fired and Mike Sherman came in his place, bringing a pro-style offense that should fit Goodson perfectly

With Lane being moved to FB and McGee staying in the pocket more, expect Goodson to finally get his chance to shine in 2008





Just to get an idea of Goodson's speed... skip to the 4:10 mark.

You see him cut up and turn up field at 4:18 (Texas A&M 35 yd. line)

He crosses the goal line at 4:24.

65 yards in 6ish seconds.

The Audacity of Hope.

Things are hard now, my fellow Americans. There is no hope on the horizon. The BCS season has left us jaded and angry. Les Miles and his gorillas with chainsaws have pillaged the College Football world and left you with no passion. Ohio State has left you wanting again.

You've been fooled too long by the Hawaii's of this world. All cupcakes and no substance. You've been deceived by SEC speed. You're bitter that you've been left again with a top heavy Big East. You've failed to make a bowl despite the preseason ranking one time to many.

You've been lied to by the BCS and promised a true champion that you can believe in. Instead year in and year out you get controversy at every turn.

Small town colleges like West Virginia are clinging to their couch-burnings, internet fodder, coach suings to ease the pain.

Rules committees have gone on too long taking game time away from you, the deserving fans.

College football fans suffer while the rest of the world sits on their chaise lounges enjoying NBA Playoffs and baseball.

We do not have to live like this.

Where are the people that will stand for the rights of you, college football fans? Where is your champion? Where is your defender?

Let me tell you something, my friends.

Change is coming. Your champion is on his way.

Hope is on the horizon

In less than 130 days I promise you a change. A change we can all believe in.

I promise you that your Saturdays will not be empty voids any more.

I promise you that the fire in your heart that burns will be rekindled. The likes of Pete Carroll will be stoked to be on your screens again soon.

I promise that forty year old men will soon be on the sideline again defending players.

I promise you that Tim Tebow will rock the swamps of Florida and it will be heard throughout all the SEC.

I promise that Joe Paterno will continue to roam to and fro' in Happy Valley.

I promise that you will no longer have to assume what Lou Holtz will say, but that you will in fact hear him in his locker room talks.

I promise that Erin Andrews will be there to bring insight from half-time talks and adjustments.

I promise you that come August 30th we will have sweet victory.

I promise you that these games are coming on that day:

Michigan State at California
Illinois vs. Missouri (St. Louis)
USC at Virginia
Oklahoma State vs. Washington State
Tennessee at UCLA
Utah at Michigan
Kentucky at Louisville
Fresno State at Rutgers
Alabama vs. Clemson
Hawaii at Florida

When we win those games we'll move on to the next week and the next and then on to the next.

Come November the people will have spoken and new hope and change will have arisen.

I can promise that we will work together with ABC, CBS, ESPN, Fox Sports, B10N, VS. and CSTV to bring you the best Saturdays in America that we can bring.

My fellow Americans...

Hope is on the way.

We believe.
We believe.
We believe.

Thief.

It's been super busy... And there hasn't been that much going on.

So I'm going to steal. This is directly from Pete Fiutaks weekly mailbag. Last week he had a question about RichRod and the WVU situation, in which he called WVU the crazy ex-girlfriend

ASK CFN 4/18

And finally …

Last week I remarked that West Virginia fans need to just let it go about Rich Rodriguez leaving for West Virginia. The responses were, well, interesting.

Let it go? Let it go?! The guy owes us $4 million dollars and stabbed us in the back? Pay us our money and live up to your contract with YOU signed. He’s a weasel and he’s trying to get out of paying what’s rightly ours. Let me guess, if it was the other way around you’d be screaming the WVU owes him. – SL

You obviously don't know West Virginia and what it means to be a West Virginian. The way Rich left was horrible. He lied to all of us. He called Terrell Pryor and told him he was going to Michigan before he told his own players, his boss and the West Virginia fans. Many of us got together and scraped up a lot of money to keep him here and he said he was here for a long time. He signed a contract. He crapped on us. He turned his back on his own state. He could have been up front with everything. No. He decided to be a lying snake, secure another job, tell recruits and attempt to get them headed to Michigan on WVU's time, before he tells a soul here in West Virginia. The same West Virginia who ponied up and met his demands just a year prior. He cries about the buyout? If he had stayed, the buyout was scheduled to drop to 2 million in August of this year. Well, if he would just pay WVU what it is owed, then that would give me some personal satisfaction, knowing how bad that hurts him to part with that kind of cash. Let him feel that pain. If or when he does, he can multiply that by 10 and then he will know how this state felt when he did what he did to this state, our school, our players and the fans. - CC

You don’t get West Virginia and you obviously never will. It takes something special to live here. It’s a special place. We don't have much here, so the football program means everything. Of course, you’d never get that. You probably wouldn’t understand a tough life. Your a joke and so is your anti-Mountaineer bias. – FK

You outsiders should just keep your thoughts about West Virginia to yourself. This is a hard place and our football program is our identity and our passion. We don’t have the lifestyle here other places have. So you better show West Virginia some respect or I wouldn’t show my face around here if I were you. And if you do, you’d better look both ways before crossing the street. - Anonymous

You have no idea of the pride of West Virginians and what it means to live in West Virginia. But that isn't what this is about. Unless you're a West Virginian, or you've lived here, you'll never get it anyway. - KG

First of all, did I say anything about the state of West Virginia? Analyzing the football program and saying something about the place are two completely different things (yes, they are), even though fans like to tie the two together.

Second, don’t give me this line about it being West Virginia and somehow West Virginians have some sort of toughness and honor that no outsider could comprehend. Everyone from every state thinks that way. You’re proud of where you’re from. So are Iowans and New Yorkers and Hawaiians and Californians. The excitement is fine, but you can’t thump your chest with this “you wouldn’t understand it” state pride and then keep complaining that it’s a rough place to live. You can’t have it both ways.

And finally, I’m not saying whether or not Rich Rodriguez is right or wrong or whether he’s a good guy or bad. I’m not defending him and I’m not taking his side. He’s a terrific football coach. Period. That’s all he is. Everything else is just corporate legal BS and it really doesn’t matter in your world, even if you think it does.

This has nothing to do with the money. You can use that as something tangible for your anger, but that’s not why you’re having problems with this.

Rodriguez doesn’t owe you. It’s not your money, and spare me the self-righteous garbage about being a tax payer blah, blah, blah. You’d be dead from a stroke if you really cared this much about every bad government or university contract that eats away at your tax dollars. Even if Rodriguez paid back every cent with a smile, you’d still be upset that one of your own rejected you. If you’re angry at the snipping, that’s another story.

Here was a coach who took what Don Nehlen had started and made it better. I know, Mountaineer football had its moments under Nehlen and had chances to win national titles in 1988 and 1993, but that ’88 team beat one team with a pulse (Syracuse) before losing to Notre Dame in the Fiesta Bowl, and the ’93 team barely got by its four good games before getting blasted by Florida in the Sugar Bowl. No one actually respected West Virginia football since it got rocked every time the bowls kicked in.

Rodriguez changed that.

With the 2006 Sugar Bowl win over Georgia, in Atlanta no less, the Mountaineers joined the world of the truly big-time programs. That wasn’t just any team WVU beat; that was the SEC champ in its own house. Now the program really was a national title contender and wasn’t just in the hunt based on a fat record against mediocre competition. The entire state had something to get really fired up about, and its fan base, who’s not used to the scrutiny that comes with the spotlight (ask me sometime about the time spent trying to keep Marshall fans in check when they thought their team was of national title stock) went crazy at anyone who dared speak in anything other than glowing terms when it came to their pride and joy.

Then Rodriguez, who had the program on the cusp of playing for the national championship before blowing it against Pitt, leaves for Michigan. It’s not like he pulled a Dennis Franchione and left Alabama for Texas A&M, at best a lateral move. Whether or not you believe it, the Michigan job is one of the biggest in all of sports and one of the crown jewels among coaches.

WVU fans, you have to understand that no coach ever, EVER leaves gracefully, and no coach ever, EVER knows how to handle it right. Sure, it would’ve been nice if Rodriguez was up front and honest about everything, but coaches can’t be … to a point. They can’t talk about another job and then be all smiles and happiness when it doesn’t work out (cough, Glen Mason at Minnesota when he wanted the Ohio State job, cough). That kills recruiting and becomes a mega-distraction and a ridiculous circus (cough, Les Miles, cough).

Had LSU not played for the national title, Miles would’ve ended up being the Michigan head football coach, Rodriguez would’ve stayed at West Virginia, and none of this would’ve happened. But it did, you have a new head man, and while the program might not be as good over the long haul, it’ll be fine for now.

Fine, so you wish Rodriguez handled everything better and showed more respect to the University and to West Virginia. Now be the better man, or fans, and take the high road. Instead of getting all hot and bothered, you should be happy Rodriguez made your program matter. You should be happy that West Virginia football is such a big deal. You should be happy at all the fun memories you had when he was the head man. You should realize that this is big business and that your company lost its CEO and replaced him with another good one who should be able to keep the train rolling. You should wish Rodriguez well at Michigan, because for better or worse, he still represents you. You should let it all go and enjoy what should be a fantastic 2008 season.

Feel better? No? Fine, you may now commence with your usual barrage of grouchy and misguided “CFN hates West Virginia” e-mails.

More Football Mandatorization.

Lawmakers are continuing to press College Football by bringing up more legal issue.

A couple of months ago we reported Georgia getting butthurt about getting left out of the MNC game.


I said something about if a whole group of schools get screwed over the course of a couple of years, government could do something about this. Well, they sped up the process (Thanks SI.com.

The three congressmen involved in the aforementioned SI.com article are Neil Abercrombie, D-Hawaii, Lynn Westmoreland, R-Ga., and Mike Simpson, R-Idaho.

Of course somebody from Hawaii, Georgia, and Idaho have no vested interest in seeing that changed whatsoever.

Westmoreland:

"We shouldn't have to argue about who the champion is," Westmoreland said, citing the excitement and unpredictability of the NCAA college basketball tournament. "That should be decided on the field."

Never mind that Georgia didn't win their conference, nonetheless their division. Give us our shot dangit! Wait... What we did during the season wasn't good enough?

These threats have been going on for a while now and someday they may stick, but till then, Myles Brand, don't worry too much.

Stuff.

In today's latest edition of stuff people like:

Stuff Green and Gold People Like


Loafers - Baylor kids like wearing shorts and (but never jorts as Baptist kids are above that) moccasins or loafers without socks. Waco is like one large house where the kids never actually leave their own home. The same loafer wearers also had trouble putting their collars down on their Izod polos. Seeing as how I was in their house, I refrained from letting them know of their slight error in attire.


Not smoking - Green and Gold people don't smoke either it turns out. Baby Jesus doesn't like it. If you ever just want to waste a few hundred square feet, build a smoking area in a restaurant in Waco, TX. For what it's worth. I did see a college-age pipe smoker.

And that's cool.

Jewish and Smoker?
Waco's not for you my friend

Being Skinny - Another thing Green and Gold people don't like is to eat. Despite having more than a few decent restaurants, I felt like my 200 lb frame raised the average of the town by about 5%. Every person in the place walked around with celery and cottage cheese.


Throwing stuff- Things aren't going your way at a Baylor game? Screw sportsmanship. We're going to heaven and you're going to hell. Suck on our Dr. Pepper bottles of wrath, fellow Big XII fans.

Dr. Pepper - speaking of cola, Baylor Fans love Dr. Pepper. The good stuff ( and by that I mean good if you're into cough syrup) is made and brewed an hour away in Dublin, TX. The Dr. Pepper museum is in Waco, TX. As is the Texas Ranger Hall of Fame. And the Texas Sports Hall of Fame. How did Waco get those?

Track - In a school that isn't held down by those goofy "state school regulations." Baylor has had some good track teams. That Michael Johnson kid was half decent. Why they can't find real success in anything but Women's Hoops, I dunno. But Bayfordukeandywestern wouldn't be Bayfordukeandywestern without Baylor. It'd be Fordukeandywestern. Which just doesn't sound nearly as good.

Baby-doll dresses - Green and Gold chicks like Baby-doll dresses. With everything. Going to the club? Hey I should wear a baby doll dress and a(n optional) skirt. Class? Baby-doll dress and jeans. Big game? Baby-doll dress and shorts.

Texas Longhorns and Texas Tech Red Raiders - Why do Baylor fans like two in-state rivals, because it's the closest they can get to beating their true hated rival, the Texas A&M Aggies. Why beat them when you can have others do it for you?